Coping with Change
By: Caroline Zappas
“Change is the only constant in life.”
-Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher
The first time I heard this quote it puzzled me; how could something be so contradictory, yet people believe it to be true? Over time, and after experiencing many changes throughout my life, I’ve come to understand the truth behind this statement. Life is unpredictable; when I think about what I was doing about a year ago, I never would have guessed how my life looks now. This overwhelming promise of change, and inevitable uncertainty does not sit well with most people. Humans are creatures of habit, and most often stray on the side of reminiscing in comfort rather than actively seeking out change. We want predictable routines, familiar faces, and favorite spots in town, not to be in a sea of strangers, not knowing your way around, or having a sense of how something works.
There are several distinct moments in life when change is expected, such as leaving home for college or getting your first job, but change most often arises with no warning. These less profound moments in life may seem harder to navigate, because there aren’t always people to navigate that change with. Experiencing something as a group feels a lot less daunting than experiencing something alone, but there are a multitude of times when life will change course, and the person experiencing it will be the only one who knows. Coping with change is a skill that is imperative to master, because, as Heraclitus stated above, change will always be around the corner, most often when you least expect it. Having a toolbox of ways to cope with the uncomfortable nature of change is necessary to be able to self-soothe when you need it most.
The following are tips that will help you deal with change in all areas of your life that I have found to be most helpful:
1. Find something familiar. This could be something as simple as eating the same meal for breakfast each morning, rewatching the same TV show before bed, or doing your favorite form of exercise. I find comfort in my skincare routine, which helps me wind down each night, no matter what the day throws at me.
2. Reframe your expectations. The concept of having high expectations can be hurtful if framed incorrectly. You can have high expectations for yourself and what you hope to achieve in life but having high expectations for every single aspect of your life will lead to overall dissatisfaction. Understanding there is only so much you can control allows you to accept the circumstances around you. I’ve found that using this method of thought has encouraged me to be open minded towards change.
3. Lean on your support network. Experiencing change is scary, and being able to talk about it with friends, family, or any other trusted figure in your life is so important. You might feel like the change is only affecting you individually, but you don’t have to experience it alone. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by change, I find it helpful to explain how I am feeling to my family or friends to see if they have insight to share.
(Brennan, 2021)
Other coping mechanisms that help with managing uncomfortable emotions include exercise, creating art, listening to music, meditation, and practicing gratitude. In a 2017 study published in the journal PloS one, it was determined that “using a greater number of positive coping strategies is associated with less use of negative coping strategies, less suicide ideation, as well as higher self-esteem, emotion regulation, and academic achievement over time” (Heffer & Willoughby, 2017). This highlights the importance of discovering coping strategies that work for you, and doing them all, often! This especially rings true for college students, who, due to the transitional nature of becoming more independent and choosing a career path, experience an incredible amount of change. My hope is by discussing the common nature of change, everyone will feel more equipped once they experience it in their own lives.
Reference List
Brennan, D. (2021). What to know about how to deal with change. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-about-how-to-deal-with-change
Heffer, T., & Willoughby, T. (2017). A count of coping strategies: A longitudinal study investigating an alternative method to understanding coping and adjustment. PloS one, 12(10), e0186057. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0186057/