The Issue with Social Media’s “That Girl”

By: Allie Edmonds

A daunting depiction of female perfection, the internet’s “that girl” trend has dominated TikTok and Instagram feeds for months. A trend that took off almost a year ago, TikTok’s “that girl” videos are aesthetic compilations of daily routines and wellness tutorials, featuring everything from minimalist home decor to an array of freshly home-made green juices. 

When “that girl” started to appear more frequently on my ‘For You’ page several months ago, I didn’t think much about the implications of the growing trend. But a gnawing sense of insecurity started to dig me deeper and deeper into an inescapable hole of comparison with the more videos I encountered. The “that girl” trend promotes the message that productivity, health, success, and happiness are only valid if your life looks a certain aesthetically-pleasing way. On paper, being reminded to eat whole foods, move your body, drink more water, and maintain an organized bedroom are hardly offensive ideas; the videos might even serve as a positive reminder to perform some necessary self-care. Yet, although it can appear harmless on the surface, TikTok’s newest girl-next door trend often promotes a highly performative approach to self-improvement and self-worth. We often forget to remind ourselves that videos of this nature (which dominate social media) are posing as authentic documentation of typical daily life. In reality, they are meticulously crafted highlight reels that serve as a glamorized and extravagant form of self-improvement and motivation. 

This idolized standard of ‘perfection’ and professional achievement is something I’m sure we all aspire to attain in some capacity, which is why so many of us find these curated scenes so appealing. But in college, especially, I’ve come to appreciate that achievement is not always glamorous or aesthetically pleasing. Growth and self-improvement require occasional chaos, countless mistakes, and a bit of  imperfection. Hard work can sometimes involve crying over an unfinished assignment at midnight and being disciplined might involve an unorganized closet or a workout set that (*gasp*) doesn’t perfectly match your bedroom decor. The truth is, we could all be better in one way or another. We could all squeeze in one extra workout, eat cleaner throughout the week, get better grades, or work harder. But, amidst the struggle of balancing it all, being “that girl” all the time is frankly incredibly unrealistic. The expectation that we should constantly be working on ourselves and improving every detail of our lives is not feasible. In fact, measuring our days by perfection and productivity will lead to burnout and dissatisfaction in the long run. 

I think we should all aspire to be that girl; not “that girl” you saw on TikTok, but your own version of that girl. That girl who loves herself unconditionally despite her imperfect diet and her inconsistent workout routine. That girl who forgives herself for having a sink full of dirty dishes and for sleeping past 7:00 a.m. The Global Wellness Institute defines wellness as “the active pursuit of activities, choices, and lifestyles that lead to a state of holistic health.” The institute highlights the importance of wellness’ six dimensions: the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and environmental. “That girl” sets an unrealistic standard. By redefining wellness as the need to always have one’s life together, “that girl” is diminishing the importance in prioritizing all aspects of health and wellness. Wanting to do better for yourself is one thing, but setting unrealistic goals for the purpose of TikTok’s algorithm is another. Just because you wake up at the crack of dawn to journal and make a matcha latte does not necessarily mean you are healthy. Work to become your best self because you want your lifestyle to reflect the love you have for yourself, not because you want to appear more organized or picture-perfect to others. This girl will look different to all of us, and in many ways, that’s the best part. 

Reference List:

Global Wellness Institute, “What is Wellness?” https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/